resto assignment
by E-mu saru
Summary: the Gboys assigned to a restaurant by Lady Une. just silliness n all... rated M for the jokes n language may be


**THE RESTO-ASSIGNMENT march 7 '07**

warning: silliness, over-dramatics behavior bordering to OOC, weird humor, incomprehensible english (according to sis'snake)...

"...Why are we doing things like this, again..?!"

Heero entered the restaurant with a deep wrinkle between his brows, and determined to NOT move a fraction of nanometer forward more even though it's not his I-hate-it-gonna-blow-it-to-pieces-to-hell-and-back-with-a-thumb-on-my-self-destruct-button face...(the face he wore when he heard Relena's screech from afar calling his name; thanks Dr.J for improving his hearing to super human level...No, that's not a sarcastic remark. Hey, come on ! You got a super hearing that enable you to detect screeching-catastrophe-in-PINK running to you is something you should be grateful about!) Right...back to the prologue...!

"It's a stall...!" Heero mumbled with a dark-shaded face.

"It's a bamboo-made lodge, Heero. The restaurant is ethnic themed!" Duo tried to push his unmoving body forward, leaving half-shoe-deep tracks on the dirt ground, even brickwall should've gave out by now.

"He's talking about aircraft stall!" Trowa led Quatre's hand passing them.

Behind, Wufei followed halfheartedly with a deep scowl, both hands tucked stiffly in his pant's pockets. Muttering nonstop about the injustice-ness of men wearing warm PINK lei around his neck that stood out even from a few kilometers away and an over-motherly doorkeeper who puts leis around guests' necks. He couldn't make the woman understand that wearing lei isn't his option, the more he tried to refuse, the more she liked him, saying about her nephew who look and act just like him. AFTER a messing on his cheeks with her palms and a great bearhug, though, he submitted. Wheezing out about wrestling hold and asphyxiation. In this case, flowers were far tamer cause of it; even if they were PINK...!!

It's in the middle of downtown anyway...SO, why there's a Hawaiian restaurant ON TOP a supermodern skyscraper building?! Complete with a dirt ground and a fake sea-shore around it.

Just their luck that the new restaurant was visible from their Preventer's top office, as one of the matching height to the skyscraper. And, as bussy as their superior Lady Une was, she couldn't find the time to check it out, just as well as she couldn't take a REAL vacation to the REAL Hawaii since she's always in a lifebind schedule SO, the result was, she sent the infamous dauntless ex-Gundam-pilots agents to check it, saying that's she SAW something UNUSUAL that worth checking about.

Although she didn't specified what the UNUSUAL thing was about the new Hawaiian restaurant, not one of the INFAMOUS DAUNTLESS EX-GUNDAM-PILOTS agents was dauntless enough to face a berserk Lady Une between the mountaining piles of paperwork that threatening to avalanche on her desk. You know, when she started yelling out firebreaths, beware of fire hazard.

"We're cornered..!!" Heero whispered low likely to himself.

"Oh, COME ON, Heero!! Noone's gonna tell you to jump the 250 storeys down without a parachute-- I FORBID THAT!!!" Duo corrected his words when his paranoid braincells said that he was giving Heero _the_ IDEA instead.

Heero snapped his head back 180º facing Duo's with a caught-in-the-act scowl, his eyes bugged out almost threatening to fall out from his eyesockets. His lei made a full circle turn around his neck. _DAMN, scratch option no.1!! _

Duo jumped about 2meters back in surprise, "DON'T DO THAT, I'm not an exorcist, Heero!!" He meant the Poltergeist movie.

"We're being watched, Duo!! We're exposed...!!" Heero stubbornly gritted out while Duo force-turned his head using both hands trying not to care about the sound of the cogwheels screeching from inside his neck. _I'm being paranoid myself...!_

"OF COURSE people are watching US, Heero, we're making a SCENE!!" _O God please say there's no children saw his 180º-headsnap...!_ He knew he'd be paranoid if he were a normal innocent child who unfortunate enough to see it happening.

A frantic search for other escaping options resulted that 1: Death by Drown is NOT an options since the fake seashore was only a few centimeters deep; and 2: his effort on Death by Broken-neck was a failure, don't tell Duo that he was trying THAT; and 3: all eyes were on THEM since Quatre was calling on them waving his bright red lei in the air made him remember of a matador waving a red cloak. _Why the hell does he have to look so brightly-happy, anyway?! _He could see Quatre's teeth shining like in a toothpaste commercial he once saw on TV.

Maybe Death by Paranoia worth trying?

"Heeroooo...-, you're voicing what you're thinking the whole time!!" He's really going to have a real TALK with him at their apartment about his deathwish.

_OOPS...did he really do that?!_

"YES!!!" this is starting to become more ridiculous now. "Come on, the food won't bite you...!!" _Unless they serve a FRESH crab like the one he poked at the chinese-restaurant in Chinatown!_

"I'll take fresh crabs..!!" Heero said fast.

"NO!!" _DAMN, did I say that outloud?!_ "I'll pick the food! You just sit and eat and drink and go home without any incident!!"

_4 : Death by Choke..._

"HEEROOOO--- I TOLD YOU YOU'RE VOICING IT!!!"

"...Death by Food-poisoning is impossible...!" He's mostly immune to war-used poison, such low level poison would have no effect. _Death by Diarrhea, maybe, but that'd be too late since he should be dining at the restaurant first!_

"Heerooo...!! YOU're _impossible_!!!" Duo's effort only managed to slid Heero's feet forward a full centimeter.

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"We'll have that while we look at the menu...!" Duo gave the smiling waitress his good natured smile, pointing at a glass of cocktail on another waitress' tray who passed their table, although he's sweating by exertion. _Somebody give me oxygen...!_

"They're not putting oxygen tank in the menu, Duo." Quatre said lightly.

Duo thumped his head onto the table, _DAMN brain...! Don't say Heero's auto-voicemode was contagious! _Though he had to give the credits for managing to send in the unmoving-Heero to someone else, or should he say victim instead...? It was the restaurant's photographer who took pictures of the costumers as one of the service provided, they had two free shots for each table, and the over-perfectparanoid Heero had given the poor man his MOST deadly deathglare that could compared to a laserbeam and made the poor camera went boom literally. After that, Heero compromised that IF he had to be exposed, he'd be exposed in where a satellite couldn't see him from the sky. That said mean he'd better had a roof above his head, a traditional bamboo and dry-leaf made roof would be far less damaging should it crash upon him than a crashing satellite.

"I think both of you only need to lessen up a bit, Duo..!" Quatre said offhandedly while his eyes scanning the menu. "And that's why Lady Une sent us here!" His teeth shining again, that even a satellite would catch it from the outer space.

..._because she's enjoying seeing us being tortured...!! _Heero, Duo and Wufei _thought_ while folding their hands on their chests.

"I think now the three of you resembled the Three-Stooges..!" Quatre added. Trowa folded his hands on his chest with closed eyes. "...'foodjest', Quatre...!" _or should I say food-digest instead..??_

"stoogestooj, _n_ (_plural_ **stoog·es**) : (1)**comic loser: **a comic actor, usually part of a double act, who acts as the butt of most of the jokes; (2)**somebody exploited: **somebody who is thought to be taken advantage of by others, especially somebody used by criminals in perpetrating their crimes (_slang insult_)...!"(1) Heero recited with his most clipped-tone, his brain automatically searched his vocabulary-storage, people who don't know would think it was a digital-dictionary's voice-mode instead.

"Definitely no.2...!" Quatre, Heero, and Wufei said automatically, Trowa only nodded to himself.

"Who?! ME...?!" Duo snapped his head up from the table.

"You're 02...!!!" his four comrades automatically said in unison.

Duo opened his mouth going to retort, but the smiling waitress came with their drinks, so he smiled back to her...although that he 'smiled' his already opened mouth and that made him grinning like a moron. _Definitely not his charming smile...!_ The others sweatdropped, including the faltered-smiling waitress.

"All of you, I HEARD that...!!" Duo hissed out once the smiling-waitress out of their sight. _Definitely CONTAGIOUS, H_éé_ro..!!!_

A "Shut up, Duo!" shut him up.

They didn't say anything for a full minute, each of them marveling the sweet and nice smelling iced juice from the tall glasses. Even though Wufei wanted to mutter something about the flower on his cocktail stick that was unjustly a PINK tropical flower.

"Just let this one slip, Wufei...!" Duo said half caring half tiredly.

"About WHAT, Maxwell...?!" Wufei countered in annoyance.

Quatre made a delighted voice. "This is quite good. What juice is it, Duo..?" he said from between his straw.

Duo took the diversion before his bickering with Wufei developed into a full-food war when their orders come that would give Heero another IDEA with his deathwish attempt, and looked at the menu. He recognized the drink from the photo of its cocktail-stick on the menu book.

And read the name, "Oh, it's Hornydew Juice...!" he said casually.

Heero reflexively lifted the tablecloth's edge to cover himself, Duo had the menu book covering his face, Quatre made a full-circle of tsunami-fountain out of his juiceglass as he blew through the straw, Trowa burst the juice from his nose, Wufei's nose-burst was red and violently exploded enough to reach at least two meters from the table's edge across him...

A high pitched screech deafened their ears, a PINK frilly-dressed woman from the near table stood and went to a hysterical state, a well suited man from the table near hers stood reflexively shouting his well-trained tone "I'm a doctor!!". A few men from the corner table stood reaching their suit's pocket. Heero without even spared them a glance shot every one of them and put his Sally-special-made gun back to his butt-holster back. Let out a satisfied grunt when those people fell to the floor like flies sprayed by an insect-spray like in one of those commercials he saw on TV. But after a second thought, took the gun out again and checked it in his hands.

Duo saw the Sally-special-made gun materialized under his nose between his face and the dripping-juice menu and gone in only a full two seconds. "OOPS...HONEYdew Juice,...sorry!!"

"MMMMAXWEEEELLLLL...!!!!" Wufei roared and stood on his chair, lifted his katana -out of nowhere- high with the right hand, while his left on his bleeding nose.

"I've said SORRY, Wufei, that was just a minor error-reading on my part...!!" Duo said defensively and took the coconut-shell statue from the pedestal near him to fend off the berserk-Wufei with.

Quatre didn't give a care and mumbled something about his pink-favorite-shirt that was wet and sugar-sticky. Trowa whispered to his ear about cleaning it in the toilet, and added "I like sweets...!" just for HINT. They stared each other for a full second with a glint in their eyes and fled to the toilet in a flash.

Heero swore under his breath as his Sally-special-made gun STALLed again, not caring his two left comrades making a scene like fighting monkeys like in one of those jungle-man movies Duo like to watch.

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In the Preventer's top office, a Preventer's uniformed Lady Une peering down a star-telescope and a white-doctor's coated Sally using binocular stood by the Preventer's top office's window.

"I win the bet on Agent Yuy's 'exposed' sum!" a straight faced Lady Une broke the silence.

"I win on Agent Chang's-nosebleed's time...!!" a smirking Sally countered. "Good idea for paying the doorkeeper to give Agent Chang a pink lei, his pout was SO adorable...!!"

"Your tranquilizer-dart-gun works."

"Yeah, trust Agent Yuy to use it effectively. But he keeps complaining it always get stuck after firing the first clip...!!" Sally said. "Your idea to make them the diversion to cover the undercover agent's deal works too... until about five minutes ago...!!"

"...Agent Yuy shot the undercover agent, too...!" Lady Une said flat while creasing her narrowed eyes.

Sally snickered. "At least we have our entertainment...!!"

"I win on Agent Winner and Agent Barton's whereabouts...!!" a grinning Lady Une's secretary quipped from behind them, blushing a little while listening to a listening device they usually use for Preventer's missions.

"Hmmm... let's order some pizza while we're watching them!" Lady Une said with her angelic-Lady-Une's smile.

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(1) from **Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2003**

a little intermezzo from Whiteshade' heavy air...

never been to Hawaiian restaurant so just made it up, the juice's name was of course from honeydew melon, it was commonly in cafes and bistros in saru' town. Actually, it was in one of those TV shows about local bistros that saru read it wrong as '_hornydew_' since saru was still half asleep and didn't wear glasses...

Thankfully it was on TV and saru' mom who was sitting beside saru at the time didn't understand english...!! hehheh...(bakasaru!!)


End file.
